This is partly the reason why I paid so much for an Iphone.
TLDR: Do yourself a favor and pick up a fucking book to start reading. Got personal issues to solve but don't know where to start? Read a book. Need to make more money but don't know how? Pick up reading. Hate your life and need a change? Say no more.
I'm going to start this blog off with a great quote that resonates well in my soul:
"You can judge a man by the books in his library." - Mark Skousen
Apparently, this guy is some big-shot American Economics stud. I remember this quote vividly during my time spent reading personal development. You know why? Because it's so true.
Reading changed my life. Without it, none of this would ever exist. I'd still be out partying every weekend killing my brain cells and liver. Curious to see what it could do for you? Well then, keep on reading...
If you were like me in my younger days, you thought reading was for losers and nerds. I hated reading. I didn't really read much in high school, I just used either cliff notes or spark notes. Nursing school made me hate it so much more. Hell, I got by reading the Powerpoints instead of actually reading the 800 page med-surg book. I thought reading was so pointless and that there was nothing interesting about it.
Nevermind the supplements, I want you to look at all the books I have in my bookshelf. I take pride in adding and subtracting books I've read throughout the years.
Now, you might be wondering when I had the change of heart? Let me first paint a picture of what it was like working night shift. During my first year of my RN career, I worked from 0000-0800, 5 days a week in the acute psychiatric ward. A good psych nurse makes sure their patients are well medicated and sleeping during their night shift. Obviously if you have a manic patient or a patient who's been off their medications for a while and needs to be restarted, you do what you can. For the most part, I had plenty of free time in the dead of the night, from 0000-0500 to stay awake. That's 5 hours you spend either playing video games, watching YouTube and/or reading. Multiply that by 5 hours a day with 5 shifts a week and you have 25 hours of you staying awake time. It was actually a load of fun and I probably would have stayed there to become a nurse manager if it weren't for reading(wuhhhh). As a strapping 22 year old lad who just wanted to party and blow money, this definitely cramped my style.
Gran Torino is a great movie if you haven't watched it yet.
I worked with people much older than I, in their 50s to 70s with a sprinkle of some people in their late 20s and early 30s. Clearly, I was the youngest one in the group. One particular lady, to which we will refer as her Margaret was my Nigerian mom, an avid Christian and reader. Being the youngest one in the workforce, you kind of end up having multiple work mom and dads whether you like it or not, it's a thing. I'm very grateful to have crossed paths and bonded with Margaret especially because without her, I wouldn't have been encouraged to make reading a habit.
Looking back, the first 1 - 2 years as a working adult was a huge mind shift for a lot of people. You spent at least 18 years going to school, being told what to do, with some sort of schedule already in place and now all of sudden you're left to fend on your own with student loans, learning how to cook, navigating Tinder and budgeting money. You then have learn about the office politics, who to not piss off, who to make friends with, while being on the bottom of the company totem pole, not being able to request your vacation days because you're too new. New grads, I feel you, I've been there and done that. I don't know about you, but there will come a time in your 20s where you'll think, "fuck, can I really do this for the rest of my life?" Meanwhile, you go out partying and drinking on the weekends because maybe you've accepted that this is what the rest of your adulting life is going to look like until you retire and die. Living for the weekend and waiting for Friday to come becomes a ritual for you so you can escape a reality you don't like. At least it was for me. The sad part about it is some of your friends will never escape this conundrum. "It's not so bad, I make decent money, go on decent dates with mediocre people and hang out with friends just as mediocre as I am." If that's who you are and you're okay with this then my respects to you. If you want to transform your otherwise meaningless reality in something fulfilling then I implore you to continue reading about the importance of reading(see what I did there?).
While going through a really painful breakup at the time, a bunch of truths hit me:
It appears to me that I have a 6 month curse; that is, I can't seem to keep a relationship for more than 6 months. As much as I'd like to blame it on my partners, let me look inward and deal with my own issues first.
I hated my job and adulting. That's why I called in sick to go party or to recover from partying.
If this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life then I might as well be inebriated as much as possible.
These comedowns and hang overs are becoming to be a bit too much. I need to calm down but don't know how.
I'm used to being like this. I don't really like it but I don't know any better and don't want to risk disrupting the balance. But I know I need to change.
One night, feeling really gloomy and emo, I saw Margaret reading a book called Boundaries. I picked her brain and asked her why she loved reading so much. She gave me numerous reasons but the ones that stuck out to me were:
You learn something new.
You become educated in something you originally weren't well versed in.
You're not the same person after reading books.
After that I promised to pick up a book which most interested me. Fortunately the roommates I was living with at the time which we'll call them Garrett and Grant were deeply into personal development. I didn't get into that just yet but they did have a book about the Benghazi incident which seemed interesting. Instead of watching League of Legend streams, I spent an hour at work just reading the book. I ended up finishing it and actually liked it quite a bit. Being the emotional trainwreck I was at 23, I had constant heart to hearts with Margaret which allowed me to identify the truths I've stated above and to start searching for books which could help me. The questions I needed answers to all appeared to be in personal development.
My gateway drug into Personal Development.
At the time I didn't know if reading could really transform my life but damn it I was willing to try anything to live a better life than what I currently was. I loved this book because I saw immediate changes in my life once I applied them at work and at home. It's interesting to see how your friends react when you tell them that you're trying to be a better person. I had a couple of friends tell me, "that's the just way you are/it is, nothing's ever going to change." It really hurt my feelings and I felt like going back to partying since that it was very comfortable and easy to do #hedonism. At the same time, I was tired of the fake smiles my friends were portraying because I knew deep down inside, they were going through the same awakening I did except they chose to not realize their potential and instead live for the weekend.
After reading the 7 Habits and reaping the benefits by applying the knowledge, I was hooked. The next few books I read about how to be a better listener because I actually sucked at listening even though I was a mental health nurse. How ironic. Listening is not waiting to reply or formulating your words while the other person is talking. Thank me later.
I also dove into how to become more charismatic and charming. I wanted people to like me and to highkey lowkey do my bidding, even if they didn't know it. Your life becomes significantly easier when people like you.
There's a reason why it's a classic.
Making some modest income now as an RN, I wanted to figure out how to be smart about it. My close friend Tuyen recommended me to read this book during one of our earlier interactions but I picked it up years later, only to hook me into even more personal development!
I also started picking up journaling to jot down what I learned and to have conversations with myself which became just as important as reading. Your head can be a really fucked up place. It's up to you whether or not you want it be your best friend or worst enemy. Instead of spending 5 hours looking at pointless videos, I spent at least an hour journaling and 2 hours reading while at work.
Currently, I make an effort to read a minimum of 50 pages on my off days. I learned a neat trick from my coworker Gregory to read 2 - 3 books at a time so when your attention wanes with one book, it restores itself when you read the other one. This actually increased my page frequency from 50 to 75 pages! I don't think I would be here today trying to make it as an coach, switch over to emergency room nursing and to be the person I am today if it weren't for reading. With that said, let me tell you what habitual reading can do for you like it did for me:
It literally changes how you look at life for the better. At first I didn't believe this when people say it. I used to have a reactive victim mindset where I thought I couldn't control the outcomes of my future and that I am just observing my younger self stay dumb. Well, it wasn't until I picked up Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and learned about Stoicism. Stoicism teaches you about figuring the things you can control versus the things you can't and to redirect your attention to the things you can. Granted it was a tedious process of unlearning and relearning but no longer do I try to control anyone else but myself and my actions. Don't chase highs, chase paradigm shifts.
The more you learn, the more you earn. This quote gets passed around often in the personal development world but I can't stress it enough. Generally speaking, the more education you have, the more money you'll make. That includes all the topics you've researched and learned on your own. Self-learning in itself is a very rare skill by the way. In my own experience, if it weren't for all that self-learning on how to lead better, deal with conflict effectively and to ACTUALLY listen, the promotions I've attained in my nursing career would nowhere be as fast.
Learning doesn't stop just because you're done with school. Most jobs are going to be taken over by robots. If you're constantly learning, your competitive edge improves tenfold. I can count on one hand how many people I know actually take the time to read which I cri everitiem.
It's very cost effective. You pay about $5-10 per book, most likely even cheaper when you buy it used(I personally like used hardcover books) and the knowledge you gain from it could potentially help you make hundreds if not thousands more.
You become more attractive because reading makes you more interesting. Do you guys like boring people? Me neither. I love conversing with well read individuals because they not only are they better conversationalists but how they perceive things. Girls love a smart dude. Guys love a smart girl. It improves your social capital exponentially which is a term I borrowed from the Art of Charm podcast. Basically what social capital means is how much you're valued compared to the next guy or girl. The more social capital you have, the more options you have in both the dating pool and career choice. Primitive Joseph on dating apps didn't land nowhere as much matches versus well read Joseph after his 1 year hiatus of being a hermit reading and journaling.
Your reality changes based on what you read. Your attitude towards life sucks? Tired of being a beta male? All your ex girlfriends tell you how much of an asshole you are? It's not them, it's you bro. Consider this your means of changing your old reality. Obviously partying isn't really helping you change for the better, try this instead. I promise it hits different.
I hope I've made my points effectively. Convinced to start picking up reading? I suggest first picking a book that you generally are interested in. It could be any genre you want, so long as you're willing put time aside to actually read it. I started off reading 10 pages a day and depending on your attention span, this could be a good pace for you. If you don't know where to start, the three books I've talked about are great ones!
Let me know what you're currently reading and give me your review of them! I'm always curious to see what other people are into.
Cheers,
Joseph L.
Be sure to check out my other blogs with regards to either seeing life a bit more profound or understanding the nuances of fitness deeper. If you loved this article, please support me by sharing it with your friends, liking it and/or dropping a comment!
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