TL;DR: Social Capital is a perceived measurement of how valuable you are in society in the eyes of others. Higher social capital means increased opportunity and chances of success.
Hello friends, I'm going to take a little break talking about Fitness and talk about something I wished I knew earlier in life. Something I wish they taught in school which would have direct carry over in life versus taking some class about World Religion so you can fufill your GEs. So without further ado, let's begin!
I'm going to safely assume that most of my readers are male. Being a gentleman and scholar myself, I'm going to share with you an important concept I learned from listening to hours and hours of personal development podcasts in the past. Of course, if you're a female I would think you too can benefit from reading about this. I first learned about this term from the Art of Charm podcast, and if you want to learn how to become better at the art of conversation and increase your people skills, then definitely check them out! Actually, check out the Jordan Harbringer show instead as he was the original member who left that company due to drama.
If there's one thing I know ring generally true among all decent gentlemen it's that we want to feel useful, desired, and have power via money and/or status. As humans, we also like to compare ourselves with others though I can only speak in the mind of a heterosexual male because well, that's who I am. Therefore, this is written as if I was giving a speech in a room full of testosterone with some estrogen.
Social Capital: A perceived measurement of how valuable you are in society in the eyes of others.
Everyone judges each other. This is a known human, evolutionary skill. You're honestly lying to me and most importantly to yourself if you don't believe this. As a guy, we judge other guys for a few reasons which I'll list:
To see if we're physically bigger or stronger than them. If they are bigger and/or stronger, we typically give them the respect they deserve and/or make space. If we don't perceive them bigger/stronger than us then we judge them as generally harmless.
To see if we're higher/lower in the social ladder. You know, money, power and status.
Assessing how "smart" the other guy is based on what you think constitutes what is smart vs dumb.
While you consciously and unconsciously judge others, you're actually determining a person's social capital and so are they to you. It's pretty much an unspoken way to figure out if the people you interact with are worth your time and energy. I would even make things much more simple and dare say assessing someone's social capital is pretty much judging someone but said in a more PC way.
Obviously this is all subjective and everyone's view of social capital will differ from the next. Generally I think we can all agree that the higher you perceive a person's social capital, the higher they are in the social ladder. Climbing the social ladder would mean an overall better quality of life; Lamborghinis not included. Conversely, this works for you as well. As your social capital increases, so does your quality of life. For example when you hear the name Bill Gates or Elon Musk, you probably would imagine their social capital as the tallest buildings in the world and you'd be right because these dudes are billionaires doing awesome things.
Aside from Elon Musk or Bill Gates, we can generally agree that doctors, lawyers or CEOs command a lot of social capital right? Your doctor friend, med student, nurse, and even that friend you party with; pretty much anyone who you think possesses a huge presence when they walk in a room.
Now that I've explained what Social Capital is, why is it important? Well, people need to rely on other people to help pay bills, eat, sleep, and make babies. People also tend to assess each other's social capital with every interaction. Humans tend to converse and befriend those who they perceive have more or equal social capital. Therefore, it would behoove you to learn how to increase your social capital so you can land more opportunities whether it be in your career and relationships. Possessing more social capital means people will also be more inclined to listen to what you have to say.
I'll list a few obvious ways to increase your social capital. You, my dear reader probably already have some of these. To make it fun, I'll add some visuals:
Having money. Making money. Spending money. No surprise here right?
Chappelle's Show. I loved every episode.
Next up we have education/job titles/letters next to your name.
Scrubs, another great show.
Lastly, we have your material possessions.
Ok, now that I've let Captain Obvious talk, it's my turn.
Aside from all of this which are pretty cool, the Tesla included, I wanted to focus your attention on the lesser known ways to increase your social capital. Reason being is that I firmly believe that the following I'm going to list will bring you much more social capital than driving a shiny car, walking around with Benjamins in your wallet, and spending an exorbitant amount of money to have RN, BSN, MSN, MBA, CCRN, CNL, CRNA next to your 8 pairs of Figs. If you're not rolling in money yet, still spending time with your toxic loser friends, and not getting decent matches on dating apps then continue reading as I can help alleviate your issues:
Confidence, AKA Big Dick Energy
If you were like me in my younger days, I always wanted to be more confident. If you were also like me, you must have read countless articles about confidence on Thought Catalog and Elite Daily late teens, early 20s whilst not studying. Guys and girls alike, we can all agree we like people who are seem very confident about themselves right? Swinging that BDE of yours(including girls because I can name a few who have much bigger BDE than any of us EVER will) vastly improves social interactions with others which also greatly improves your social capital. Do you want to listen to a doctor or lawyer who doesn't too sure of himself? Didn't think so.
I think the fastest way to increase your confidence is to get good at something you really like. Like cars? Learn the anatomy of a car, what each part is, and how to fix it. Like aquariums? Dive deep into the intricacies of each fish, plant and animal you want to raise. Like lifting weights? Educate yourself with reputable sources(like me of course lol), stop skipping leg day and giving unsolicited advice to that Gym Shark wearing girl(or really anyone unless they ask) quarter squatting at Gold's. Trust me bro, that's not how you pick up girls at the gym. An interesting phenomena happens where the confidence you've gained pursuing your passions carries over to everything else you do.
Be Interesting
Let me start by saying who likes boring people? Who's gone out on dates where their date is a lame duck? That's right. A lame duck(thanks Joe Rogan). You know, those people who work a boring ass job, have no hobbies but managed to land a date with your sorry ass. If you two boring people end up together and it works then my respects to you. However, I'm not the type of friend who will let you get away with dating awkward girls and beta males without giving you a shitstorm. You deserve better than this. However, you also need to put in the work to land better quality partners. The higher your social capital, the better your matches.
I kind of touched this already in the Confidence portion about delving in your "passions." What makes you unique? You can start by answering the question, what do you like/love to do? We all have our own different tastes. It's up to you to find this out for yourself.
Let me now list out how NOT to be interesting:
Spending more time playing video games/watching television than interacting with others. There's a time and place for everything, nothing in excess, only moderation blah blah you've heard it already. As a gentleman trying to level up his life and his dates, ask yourself, "is this going to make my life better? Is this bringing me one step closer to land dates with cuties?" If the answer is no, then Call of Duty can wait bro.
Netflix without the chill all day everyday. Good wholesome Netflix. Watching your favorite shows or rewatching the same show you've watched countless times. What's even more hilarious is when I see my boys mention in their profile something along the lines of Netflix-ing because no quality girl wants to spend time with some chump Netflix-ing all day.
Indecisiveness and being passive. Nothing screams beta male behavior like still acting like you're in high school where it was cool to be indifferent about everything. This has to go. Girls love someone who knows what they want. Your boss loves someone who's a go-getter. Conversely, you'll automatically command presence and increase your social capital because you now stand out in the crowd of lame ducks.
Pick up reading
If you haven't seen my blog about how important reading is I suggest you check it out. Like I mentioned in the blog, if it weren't for reading, none of this would ever exist. Since it's pretty rare that people read after they're done with school, this could very be your secret weapon to winning in life. If you have a burning question about yourself or something, chances are someone way smarter than you already answered it. Pass time productively by reading something that interests you.
How can reading increase social capital you may ask? As your mind expands, so will opportunity. It could be maneuvering office politics more gracefully to leverage yourself to take higher positions of power and have your coworkers like you more. During the mating dance with potential partners, you are now much more instantly attractive because you have much more to say other than digressing in pop culture. What you didn't see before reading you can now observe intently. Since there are probably millions of books out there, you could safely assume that the knowledge potential is limitless so therefore your knowledge can also be unlimited.
The most interesting people I've met are well read. You can tell based on their rhetoric and the way they think. Being educated definitely helps although it's the people who seem to know a bit about everything and that can carry a conversation well.
So that's pretty much it. Thank you for reading my blog about a topic which caused a major paradigm shift in the way I look at the world. I hope I was able to communicate a similar amount of mental shift as well!
Sincerely,
Joseph L.
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