TLDR; Finding your why will be the reason you stay disciplined even when you don't feel like it. Forget looking for motivation to get you going.
How many of you think I love going to the gym all the time? Like ALL the time? If I were to be completely honest with you, I actually don't like going to the gym as much as you'd think. If I were to guesstimate and put it in a rough percentage, I'd say I love the gym about 40% of the time, whereas I like the gym about the other 40% and the last 20% is when I despise it. When I mean despise, I mean absolutely have no intention or mood to get up and lift heavy ass weight. The feeling of dread when you wake up and realize you have to train. There are days where my body feels really good and I feel really strong. Then there's days where my body feels like complete trash and everything feels just so damn heavy. Lastly, there's everything in between. Even when you dial in your variables in such as getting enough sleep, macros and minimizing stress, you'll still have those days where you just can't perform as well as you'd like. What gives? Life.
Oh god.
The human body and the world in which we interact is such a complex system that there's honestly no way you can control all the variables to make anything go smoothly. If it's one thing I learned from Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman it's that you ultimately cannot fully control your outcome. However what you can do is to minimize risk and maximize the chance of the preferred outcome. Nothing is an absolute guarantee and it's human nature to try to find reasoning behind phenomena.
Now let's get back to something more positive.
I'm here to dissuade you from making moves purely from just motivation. But wait but Joseph, isn't motivation the key to action? Is it because you have much higher motivation than a lot of people here which is why you can go to the gym consistently? Well shit you must have skipped the beginning of the portion of the blog when I told you that I actually don't like the gym as much as you think I do. I'm sure many of us who have been going consistently for years will tell you the same thing.
It's taken me a bit of time to understand and formulate the concept I'm going to share with you now so I'll try my best. Before I start though, let me explain to why relying on motivation to get you to start doing things is wrong.
My first problem with relying on motivation is that it in itself is a fleeting, ephemeral emotion. Motivation does not last long with anybody and the people who seem like they have everlasting motivation is because they've cultivated their why. In fact, they are able to draw immense power and discipline from their why which is something you can't do from an emotion that will disappear whenever it wants. Don't get me wrong, I understand and know how powerful it can be when you watch a motivational video or speaker with the Inception soundtrack playing behind it. Sure I too grow some hairs on my chest like the next guy when I watch Youtube videos of Arnold Schwarzenegger before working out but that energy is unsustainable.
My second issue with motivation is that it is easy to feel excited and get inspired but once you start working in the trenches and realize it's nowhere as rosy as you once thought, it literally saps all that energy. I love more so the idea of feeling strong and having an awesome physique as much as the next person. The time and effort it takes to build all of that? Not so much.
Gets me going before a hard deadlift sesh.
Instead of relying on your motivation, make your why the motivation.
Here are the typical questions I get when people ask me for fitness advice:
What's the best training split?
How do I lose weight?
How do I get yoked like you?(aww thanks)
If I do (insert trendy diet or stupid detox program) will I get big and lose weight?
What's the best type of workout?
What do you feel about all these supplements?
Do you take x,y,z, supplements and/or tren?
What's the best diet?
And all the variances of similar questions asked.
Depending on whether or not I like they're receptive to me my first question to them is typically something along the lines of, "Why do you even want to work out/eat clean/lose weight?"
Typically many people would say the obvious like they're getting fat or out of shape and the discussion stops there. However if I do like t hem I keep asking them why. This goes on for about 4 more times or until I finally feel like I get the meat of it. I actually challenge you all to ask yourselves why a minimum of 5 times so you too can figure out your why. Forewarning it's going to take a bit longer than you'll ever expect. Give yourself at least 15 minutes to sit there with a blank piece of paper and pencil to write it all down.
In my coaching experience, here are some of the best whys I've ever come across:
I think working out will help with my low confidence and self-esteem.
I had an experience(s) where I felt powerless and weak (being bullied or harassed, etc) and I never wanted to feel like that anymore.
I don't like the way I currently look and feel about myself (the more brutally honest the better) which is why I want to change myself.
The discipline cultivated from lifting weights will help me feel like I've regained control over my life again.
I want others to respect me more and know to not cross me because no one takes me seriously enough.
I don't like what I see in the mirror and it makes me feel ugly.
I feel fulfilled knowing that I'm growing.
My life sucks and I don't want to suck anymore.
There must be something more to life than the one I'm currently living in right now.
I want to still be around to see my kids grow up.
I want to be able to catch up with my kids as I get older.
As you can see here, some of these whys are pretty painful to admit to ourselves. That is good. That is exactly what you want. The more painfully truthful, the better!
Many of us get into working out for many various reasons. Me personally, I am a combination of all of these points. My why changes based on life experiences though I'm sure yours will too. My current why is working out makes me feel superhuman and I'm curious to see how far I can push myself despite how challenging it is. One of the best feelings in the world is destroying your PRs, only to set it a bit higher next time. I'd compare it to eating your all time favorite food, sending your body to heaven for a few seconds, then coming back to earth a happier you. And if that wasn't a good enough explanation, it feels almost like rolling for a few seconds without the comedown and the afterglow lasting the rest of your day.
Middle school to high school Joseph was picked on often. I remember vividly at 13 when playing football with my "friends" not knowing that I was was a target even when I didn't have the ball. I also remember being pinned down by these "friends" and one them slowly digging their cleats into my calf. That first year of high school was just as rough as I recall being picked on by both the emo scene kids and random bullies in the lunch line. That all changed when I signed up for weight training my sophomore year of high school, put on some decent size, cut my long emo hair and all of sudden I started to not take any shit from anybody. Lifting weights made me feel really good about myself and felt like I was pretty decent at it. I love putting in hard work, sweating, getting a nice pump and the sound of clanging weights. At the time it seemed as if there was a direct correlation with muscle gain and time spent at the gym. Coupled with liking what I saw in the mirror, getting more attention from people, and being able to slap on more iron I eventually fell in love with the process. After a while, it became an ingrained habit and that is how my discipline formed. I'd even argue that figuring out your why will help with developing discipline as well. I didn't know it at the time during college but lifting weights helped with my feelings of low self-worth, confidence issues and an excellent stress reliever(still is most of the time lol).
Kinda like one of those stress relief balls but unlike those balls weights can and will hurt you if you skip leg day.
Being a competitive powerlifter constantly tests my love for fitness and my why. Hiring a coach eases figuring out how or what to train so you can put more effort into the actual training itself. Again, I'd be lying to you if I said I LOVE working out all the time. Generally the first few sets of each exercise is fun but then it all changes when you realize you have to do 4 more sets...There are so many times I just wanted to quit competitive powerlifting. It's often painful, grueling and downright tough. I spend about 2 - 3 hours at the gym instead of lounging around watching Netflix. Lately I've been waking up at 0600 to go the gym at 0700 so I can finish before 1000 because of schedule conflicts. I sleep at 2100 so I can get 8 to 9 hours of sleep before training. I put most of my food on a food scale and track it. I minimize partying and late nights out. You could say working out has completely enveloped my life. I think if someone who doesn't lift read this they'd think I'm crazy. I wouldn't blame them for thinking like that though.
I recall a number of times during competition prep and off-season training where I laid in bed thinking to myself, "Why bother? This sucks. My body aches. My brain is fuzzy. I just want to be in a burrito blanket all day and eat ice cream."
Then I ask myself again, "how much does this mean to you?"
"It means the world to me to lift weights and smash PRs."
"Why?"
"So I can feel strong and push my body to the limits."
"So does being lazy help you at all?"
"No..."
"Then get the fuck up, show up to training and do the best you can!"
"Bet."
Having a powerful why gives you the inner strength to get up and stay disciplined like how it does for me. It actually fulfills me to know that I'm progressing aesthetically and strength wise. I'm addicted to the results. Besides, nobody ever regretted working out.
I'll give you another example: my current coaching career. The fitness industry is already jam-packed with guys and girls more knowledgeable, jacked, and stronger than me. I know that for a fact. Unfortunately there's a ton of misinformation and bullshit out there which pray on unsuspecting gym-goers. I wanted to be that change to those around me, to simplify and diverge what I've learned from reading and experience. I also wanted to help people and make a difference in their lives through fitness because I myself know how powerfully life changing it is which then became my biggest why. I often tap into my why when things don't go my way, when clients come and go, and when I feel like my career has been stalled.
So now I ask you, dear reader. Why do you like to work out? Why do you want to get started? Why do you want to do start that business or project of yours? Why HAVEN'T you started it? Be sure to ask yourself why for a minimum of 5 times to get to the deepest part of yourself. If you've read this far, let me know in comments section or DM me on Instagram what your why is! With that said, thanks for reading and until next time, I'll see you guys!
Sincerely,
Joseph L.
Be sure to check out my other blogs with regards to either seeing life a bit more profound or understanding the nuances of fitness deeper. If you loved this article, please support me by sharing it with your friends, liking it and/or dropping a comment!
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