TLDR; Intentional living: Being conscious of the choices you make around you. Refer to the Serenity Prayer.
I'm really not the type of guy who's into inspirational quotes that much. Frankly, I think they're very tacky and creates a false sense of accomplishment. It's like your friends who keep on posting quotes about winning in life but not really doing anything about it or re-quoting something a relationship expert said but not trying to fix the issues in the relationship. You know exactly who those friends are. However this quote slaps. It basically summarizes what I'm going to ramble about.
Let me start off the blog by asking you a few questions:
Do you feel stuck or plateaued?
Does it feel like you can't control your life?
Wondering if you could change outcomes?
Curious to find out what I have to say?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, slap me in the dick and call me Sally, I've the answer for you and that is Living an Intentional Life.
Intentional Living: Being conscious of the choices you make around you.
Sounds like common sense right? "Well no shit Sherlock, we should all live like this." You'd be very surprised of how many people don't live like this. Humans are generally hedonistic, that is they chase pleasure and the highs. That's us by default. That means we like to eat, have sex, and look for the newest craze to get the dopamine on. Evolutionary speaking this makes sense right? Sex sells when it comes to marketing. We need to eat to survive. Some people take it a notch further and become yelp elites. Clearly it hasn't changed much in the modern world am I right? Marketing understands the basic principle of hedonism and is why it works so well on us. This old script of ours served us well a couple thousand years ago but I'm here to argue that it no longer is useful and is holding you back.
Then again, it depends on the person. Do you want to make chasing pleasure your priority or do you feel like there's more to life than that?
What if I told you that there's an even deeper, much more amplified high, something that can't be replicated with any external factors. It sounds like druggy talk I know. This deeper sense of pleasure which invigorates your body and makes your soul happy, the two feelings felt when chasing fulfillment? I'm here to offer a solution to the monotony and change of scenery if you desire. It's not going to be easy but I sincerely promise it's well worth it in the long run. It all starts within yourself.
I'd like for you to start off by giving up this victim-mentality you have of yourself. This means:
Stop feeling like you can't change your life, as if this is who you are forever.
Stop complaining. It never helps anyone and never will.
Stop saying you can't do it.
That negative self-talk needs to be rewired. It's not serving you well.
Understand that no one is going to save you and give you what you want.
Not wanting to do some actual soul-searching which doesn't include travelling to some foreign country.
Stop feeling like you can't change your life, as if this is who you are forever.
The only constant in life is change. No one steps in the same river twice. It is a choice to feel like you cannot change your life. Being in denial of your own autonomy is depressing. If you can figure out what you want to eat, which events to attend, what things to do, and who to date then why the fuck can't you change your life? It's a pathetic excuse that you put up for yourself, a handicap if you will. Of course it's hard work but don't you owe it to yourself to be a better, happier version of yourself?
Stop complaining. It never helps anyone and never will.
I see so many unhappy people at my work. They're just trying to collect a paycheck and like to complain about how everything's going to shit, the ER is so busy, management sucks, there's not enough supplies, etc..I'm sure you can relate to me on this. I generally stay away from these people because all that negative energy will bring you down. It's cathartic to bitch and moan about what isn't up to par and it takes less work than to actually fix it. It delivers a false sense of control, as if airing out your opinion will magically make problems go away. For my younger crowd, I want you to look at your disgruntled older coworkers with the daily scowl on their faces, watching the clock, doing the absolute minimum. That'll be you in the next 20-30 years if you don't do anything about yourself.
The face of an unhappy life. This is what you want right?
Stop saying you can't do it.
Because you really can do it, you just don't want to try and that my friend is a choice. I unconsciously learned my victim-mindset from my parents as they constantly kept micromanaging my choices up until I graduated nursing school. I wouldn't tell them anything other than nursing because it would be instantly shot down and dismissed. For those of you with similar parents, I give you the compassion and empathy you deserve, to try to unwire and rewire that thought pattern.
That negative self-talk needs to be rewired. It's not serving you well.
If you've come from very strict totalitarian parenting like myself, it explains why you're too damn critical of yourself. You probably aren't too conscious of it but I'm here to tell you to notice it more so you can be aware of what it constantly says to you. The more aware of it you are, the more you can change that thought pattern by talking back to it. I'm also here to tell you that it is very possible to have your negative mindset turn into your best friend. It starts with developing compassion and kindness to yourself.
Understand that no one is going to save you and give you what you want.
In our society today, pensions are becoming scarce and social security will run out therefore you can't expect the government to take care you. Many of us (including me) aren't blessed with wealthy connections and rich parents. Living in the US means you are greatly rewarded when you participate in capitalism vs becoming society's cogwheel. For example, let's say you made $100,000 this year being employed at a company. Uncle Sam will take a minimum of 24% of your wages. Now let's say you're self-employed and made $100,000. The current self-employment tax is 15.3%(https://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/taxes/self-employment-tax/). Assuming you're single, that 15.3% increases by 0.9% once you've made over $200,000. If you made $200,000 from being employed, Uncle Sam will take a minimum of 32%. See what I mean now? I'm obviously simplifying it so I apologize in advance.
Not wanting to do some actual soul-searching which doesn't include travelling to some foreign country.
Travelling the world is cool. It's a nifty luxury to have. Everyone does it for different reasons. If you think it's going to help you figure out your issues at home then I'm terribly sorry because it won't. I never understood why it's touted as a means to search your soul. If your life sucks and you went off backpacking in Europe for a few weeks, how did that solve any issues for you? I like to see travelling as an enjoyable momentary lapse of your everyday normal life.
I think real soul-searching is asking yourself tough questions. To understand where your strengths lie and where you fall short. Figuring out who you really are underneath the clothes you wear, the muscles you have and to have a conversation with yourself. This conscious self-unraveling is living life intently.
So now, let me teach you how to start living a more intentional life. We'll start things off with a famous Stoicism book worth reading. Marcus Aurelius is one of the most badass dudes who ever lived. He was a Roman Emperor who practiced Stoicism. This is one of those books where each sentence is loaded with profoundness.
If I could summarize how to live an intentional life, I'd use the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
Let it sink in for you. Focus on the things you can control(your actions, thoughts, responses), and don't worry about the things you can't control (other people and their opinions, dachshunds eating in moderation, the weather, stock market, etc..). There's a reason why Alcoholics Anonymous uses this prayer.
What many people fail to realize is the immense amount of power and control you regain from yourself when you live an intentional life. If you're feeling powerless and hopeless right now, imagine what it would be like if you could actually dictate how you want your life to be. Life doesn't get easier once you're conscious. In fact, it becomes more like a fun game of sorts, be it chess or an RPG, whatever you fancy. Sounds crazy, I know. Of course you're a bit apprehensive because you're going against human evolution and realizing that you've have been making choices all along, good and bad.
It's going to be a long arduous process. I promise it's worth it. Do it for your well-being and your soul.
I hope I've convinced you to live a life more intentional and found this blog useful.
Until next time.
Be sure to check out my other blogs with regards to either seeing life a bit more profound or understanding the nuances of fitness deeper. If you loved this article, please support me by sharing it with your friends, liking it and/or dropping a comment!
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